


Hallelujah

by JuliaTheRainbowFacedSheep



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Mark of Cain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-03
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-04-12 17:55:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4489140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaTheRainbowFacedSheep/pseuds/JuliaTheRainbowFacedSheep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you.<br/>Well it’s not a cry you can hear at night, it’s not somebody who’s seen the light.<br/>It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hallelujah

What hurt Castiel the most about the Mark was the piercing look Dean gave him every time he looked at him. Dean’s eyes were completely cold and heartless. He was no longer a demon, but he was far from human.   
No, what hurt Castiel the most was Dean trying to kill him every time he saw him. It was as if everything Castiel had done for him didn’t matter  
No, it was the way both Sam and Dean ignored him in favor of trying to help the other one. No one seemed to think what they were doing behind Dean’s back wasn’t actually a good idea. And sometimes it felt as if he ceased to exist when one of them was in trouble. It was understandable to be worried, but Sam was way over the top.  
No, what hurt the most was definitely the way Dean would say anything and everything to hurt Castiel. All of his usual reservations were diminished (again, not quite demon but not at all human) so he said things that stung more than the real Dean would have intended.  
Whatever it was about Dean Winchester turning into the Mark of Cain monster that hurt Castiel the most, nothing compared to the point Castiel knew it would get to.  
Cas had the power to stop Dean. He always had. The only reason he never told anyone was because doing so would prove fatal for Dean. And Cas was a little too selfish to allow that to happen, and knew that Sam would never even consider it an option.  
But Dean, the real Dean, had asked Castiel to take him out if it went too far. And Castiel loved Dean far too much to let Dean be a monster, and he knew by now that there was no other way.  
Castiel had always thought the big showdown would be somewhere purposeful and specific, like it had been in the cemetery with Lucifer and Michael. But when Dean approached him in the bunker that night, Castiel knew what was coming. And he knew there were two outcomes; his death or Dean’s.  
The words that come out of Dean’s mouth as he stands in that doorway surprise Castiel. He stands there, throwing slings and arrows at Castiel of the love they could have had if Castiel hadn’t fucked it up. He went on saying that they could have had so much, if he had really cared. There was no emotion in Dean’s eyes. He was saying this to get a rouse out Castiel, to get him to fight.  
“You don’t mean that.” Castiel whispered.  
“I’m sorry? I couldn’t hear that quite right. What about you being fucking up any chance we had do you not understand? We could have had so much if you hadn’t ruined it all. What about that do you not understand?” Dean spat out every word. He kept talking but Castiel wasn’t listening anymore.  
Castiel’s fists were held tight against his sides. He knew the time Dean had talked about had come. And he knew he was the only one that could stop Dean from hurting anyone else. He knew what he had to do. And he knew he had to do it because of his love for Dean. Castiel knew the real Dean would never be able to live with himself knowing some of the things he was saying to Castiel.   
Holding back tears, Castiel gathered all of his strength. ‘Selfish’ rang in his ears as he shot all of his energy into Dean.   
Castiel didn’t dare look in the direction of Dean for a few minutes. He just stood there paralyzed. When he finally did look over, he choked back a sob. He crouched down, looking down at Dean’s broken body. The tears started flowing of their own accord. He picked up Dean’s head and placed it in his lap, holding onto it as if his life depended on it. Slowly tears formed into sobbing and rocking back and forth for the righteous man he once saved.  
“What the hell, Cas?” Castiel looked up to see Sam standing in the doorway. The realization of the scene in front of Sam was slowly growing. Castiel knew he had to get out of there, but he sat there, lifeless by Dean’s side. He sat there as Sam dragged him and beat him and broke him even more, because he had no will to fight back with Dean gone.


End file.
